i am a slave to lady gaga
i have no shame in that. only pride

GODGAAAAAAA

LIFE IS BOARING

i like livejournal i just have no friends on it
help
im putting off going to work
like usual by the way my dog is awesome

This whole, America going into a depression thing, is really starting to become a problem. Everyone I know is being laid off, can't find jobs for shit. The fucking des office is FILLED with people probably filing unemployment. I mean, its just nuts. Some of our wealthiest customers at work are filing bankruptcy. Business has disintegrated, on a Friday night, what's usually a packed room with no where to move around let alone sit, there was 5 customers. All. Night.

So much for America being a head honcho. We are going down the shitter. Our country is a joke these days. Closing gitmo should be the last of our fucking worries when everyone is broke. I'm really starting to get scared. I barely made rent this month. What the fuck is going on? I need to get out of this place.

My country was built on the idea of freedom.




I am not free.

What do you do to change a lifetime of mistakes when its not even yours.


I have had it up to here watching everyone fucking their lives up for heroin.

Has it really come to this?

Fuck, I remember when I thought drinking was edgy.

Wouldn't mind to be like that again.

No one is going to read this. No one uses lj that I know anymore.

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, FINALLY.

Last night was the most epic political night of my life. It was so cool to be at the democratic party and get all dressed up and see how excited everyone got when we won. I'm really excited obama won, not that I was expecting any different. Our country obviously sees the blunders we have made and we are finally ready to fix our problems. I expect obama will be an amazing historical president so long as he keeps true to what he promises to do. I can't wait to find out. Bush is out! Finally!

Our country is fucking nuts.
americans are fucking stupid
FUCKING STUPID
i wanted to rage when i was watching on CNN, a lady who had to flip a coin to decide her vote.... fsjdhfsdfkjsh!!! IF YOU HAVE TO DO THAT, LADY, DONT VOTE, FOR THE LOVE OF IGNORANCE DONT VOTE. I cant believe that shit. this is quite possibly the most epic election we are ever going to see in our lifetime, and you chose to stay uninformed and trust the fate of our country on the flip of a coin? FAGGOT BITCH i would have hoped she got hit by a car on her way to polls but LUCKILY her coin chose obama. but how many other retards did that same shit? like jesus if you dont know the issues, YOU DONT HAVE AN OPINION. YOU SHOULDNT VOTE.
UGH

goodbye

P.s. Sucks McCains from my state. az is red poop

Im about going to a funeral for a friend I just barely found out passed away.
Thats what I get for shunning the internet. I didn't even know.

Rest in peace Dylan. Sad sad sad.

I miss everyone. I wish I was a sophomore in high school still with the people i really cared about.

Now I'm just lost and I don't really have a lot of light to guide me.

I keep saying I can't wait to move so I can restart my life. What I really wish is that I could run back to who I used to be.

My grandma passed away last night. My sweet, beautiful, little grandmabear. God bless her amazing soul.



May angels lead you in.
R.I.P.
:''''(

My life is really bad right now. My grandma is about to die, every time I visit her she gets worse and I dont know which visit will be my last. It really sucks and i go back and forth between being serene about it and panicky. I love my grandma.
In other news, I like my new apartment, its a mess and i have no internet or cable but thats ok i kind of like being away from the web and tv. i am changing rapidly and i cant even keep up w who i am or whats going on.

ive also been doing some drugs, not a lot, some oc here and there and ecstasy (see above picture lol) and xanax. idk. i feel imcomplete. i have a hard time thinking about the future and where ill be in one year. i havent been to work except maybe 3 times this month and ive made well over enough for rent. i cant handle being there. im too sad over my grandma.

peace out.

I met a customer with the sexiest english accent my little ears have ever heard. He was from england and i dont remember where he said because i cant remember any city other than london, sadly. He told me that people warned him about americans because "americans carry guns and they will shoot you"! I thought that was too funny especially since I just got a gun. I LOVE talking about other countries, i dont know what it is, maybe because i want to travel SOOO badly. Like Lela is somewhere in the fuck suharara wtf desert and how neat is that. I would want to travel to anywhere I dont even care. As long as its not mexico and its not america. SICK OF BOTH

but seriously how hott is the english accent. so fucking cool sounding. im gonna marry someone with one. or even someone who can fake it real well. AHFKSJAHFKJ

UPDATES:

Got most (i think) of my shit except my bed into my new apartment. So now all I have left to do is stand over all my shit and blow my brains out at the thought of putting it all back together AGAIN. I have moved so many times this last few months its so annoying. In 9 months Ill be moving my ass up to phoenix.

Got a new weed hookup. He grows and gives me gnarly buds for free, its so tight. I love meeting people at my work ha.


got a new doggy too, he's nine or ten weeks old. this is the kind of dog he is:


Hes so fucking cute and I can bring him home as soon as my apartment is all organized. Hes tiny and hes like a squirmy little teddy bear. eeeee!!

I got my new apartment yesterday but I havent moved anything in it yet. Its reallllly nice, got a big ass living room and sick ass closet. Its so big. Omg. I cant believe I can afford it. I love strip clubs ahaha. LOVE IT.

I have to go put shit in it now should be a blast.

IDK WHY I USE LJ

Anyways. Yesterday I had to drive 2 stinkin hours to phoenix to take a test for my classes. I was practically falling asleep on the freeway, forgot to get on the right entrance and ended up having to back track my way through 24th st or wherever i was idk. I am getting extremely anxious about moving. Like when Im up there, in phoenix, Im just like..."right, well this is fucking awesome" and then i drive home and 2 hours later im driving at the top of the city looking down and all i can think of is how glad i am to be home and how much i love tucson and how pretty it is (even though its not). And then I go hand out with friends and all i can think is "you wont see them anymore in a year, you wont be hanging out with them anymore in a year"

I wont ever move back to t-town for the rest of my life. my 9 months is counting down. I know I think about this WAYYY too much but Im a homebody and i love that i know every street in tucson and have been almost everywhere in the city. but i also hate that, you know? im so bored. but happy at the same time. I feel like this move is going to be the most intense moment of my life. I feel like this whole year before I am moving, I am preparing to start my entire life. I am 19 years old and I havent even started.

GOD IM DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY SOMEONE SEDATE ME

Being in Phoenix at the AI reminds me of TV Pro in high school and it's really strange. Like when I was getting my school ID, the guys taking the picture and putting it on the computer and shit reminded me of how everyone was in that class. I used to love tv pro but now I dont really remember it very well. It kinda makes me sad. High school is so god damn long ago, two years. I miss being that age, ugh, I really do. Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten into drugs so I could have maybe enjoyed it further but eh what can you do. I don't even see the people I liked in high school anymore. I havent seen anyone from tv pro, no one I used to eat lunch with. I didnt know how this part of the future was going to be like back then but now that Im here and Im 19 and about to go to a for real actual college it sorta makes my head spin. Like I actually am doing something really good for myself and even though its such a independent and big step and im seriously freaked out, I cant waaaait. I mean, the whole institute is like a gigantic 5 hour a day tv pro class. Its crazy. Im really proud of myself that I actually took the initiative to get it done. I didnt think I was going to get around to it. I tend to put big things off and this is going to be the biggest nuttiest change my life has ever ever ever experienced. Im going to be in a completely different city, by myself, without anyone to lean on. No parents house, no best friends house, alone. Im not sure Im ready sometimes. I probably wont ever be.


Today when I was getting gas with Nate, a car pulled up to the pump on the other side of me, and funnily enough it was Tad and his gf. I freaked out because godddd hes everywhere. I just want to be on completely opposite dimensions as Tad so I never have to see him again. Ive literally had enough of him for one lifetime. gooo awaaaay

made $450 last night. SICK

Last night I made 250$ in 3 hours. If my calculations are correct (which they are, I used a calculator lolz) thats about 83 dólar por hora.


I'm saving up money to go to california, new york and possibly kentucky. As soon as my apartment situation (which has gotten INTENSE ill have you know) is squared away. They are trying to last this til next month because they want me to pay rent again, and I will not fucking have it. It pisses me off so damn much. its going to cost me so much money if they dont stop being dicks about it. We wrote a letter to 9 on your side and hopefully that will do something. idk what to do at this point i never imagined shit would get so wild for my first place. its fucking stupid

ew didnt mean to rant